WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO SLEEP WITH ME
I meant what I said when I named this substack The Best Friend Experience. Last Monday night, our founding members were invited to a board meeting, AKA a Zoom where we all got to talk to each other face to face. It felt a little like therapy and a little like one of those three way calling parties I used to have in 1993. (minus my high school boyfriend singing show tunes and not admitting that he was gay.)
What struck me, aside from how many dog loving anaesthesiologists I attract, is how supportive this community felt. Substack really is it’s own thing. It’s a place where you don’t have to perform into a vacuum and wait for a bunch of faceless Karens to descend.
I think some might shy away from this level of intimacy with readers. But as most of you have already gleaned, I have boundary issues.
( Casual text with an UBER driver)
Our call was scheduled to go thirty minutes. As soon as I started talking to the first person, I knew we were going to be on for at least two hours.
During each share, there was none of that “Yeah but…” shit you feel on Instagram. Nobody was judging anyone’s appearance or point of view. It was pure compassion, empathy, and support.
I can’t quite articulate what it meant to me to see so many women come together and hold space for each other. It’s rare in this day and age for people to even make direct eye contact for over fifteen minutes.
The Zooms are an important part of this experience for me because I want you to know that I am a real person with real flaws and struggles. ( if you have the Substack app. you probably already know this because of all my random AF text threads.) You guys were actually the last people I texted with before I got on the stage in San Antonio to do my River dance. And your support and encourangment truly helped give me the strength I needed not to fall.
I created this Sub with the hope that it would bring us all back down to earth a little bit- that it would give us a space to be vulnerable and real about how impossible and beautiful this ‘being alive’ schtick is.
After our Zoom, I read through the entire chat. I also remembered that Robin W. said she needed a good mattress recommendation and I suggested Avocado.
Before Avocado, I was a Tepur-pedic whore. When Jason and I lived in LA at twenty-eight and twenty-nine years old, (he’s older! Thank God!) we had this bed made for octogenarians that allowed you to press a button and adjust your sleep position. While I loved this feature because I could fold Jason literally in half when he was being an asshole, the bed was ultimately too big for our NYC apartment. We moved on to another Tempur-pedic that feels like you are sleeping on concrete. It’s fine.
Sid and Lazlo have the most comfortable beds in our house and sometimes (read: most of the time) I sleep in their room. Not on purpose or because my ten year old happens to be the world’s best manipulator or anything, but because his bed puts me to sleep and traps me there.
Even if Sid didn’t have me in a choke hold like I was one of his disintegrating childhood toys, I’d still wind up sleeping on his Avocado because it’s just so damn comfortable.
After the ‘board meeting’, I texted my friend Annie, who works for Avocado and I asked if she could connect me with PR.
I realise as an "‘influencer’ (Jason rolls his eyes when I say that word out loud) I get certain perks. And while you guys may not be influencers yourselves, you are now best friends with one.
Laura generously offered me three mattresses. But because I have no chill, I’ve already given away two to founders. I was just too excited and I have zero impulse control.
Long story short, this Substack isn’t gonna run like a typical newsletter where I post myself in cute outfits and give you links. Sometimes I might post outfits and if I have them, I will certainly provide links. I believe there is a special place in hell for women who don’t tell other women where they bought their outfits. But I’m not here to collect money for feeding innocent shoppers to corporate Shamus. If I link something, it’s something I actually love and use. If I don’t, assume I either hate the brand or the founder didn’t post about my book.
Your trust matters. And I can say with full confidence that these mattresses are rad.
I have one more up for grabs and I don’t know what to do besides put all my founders back in a hat and make Lazlo pull a name like he did with the Chanel bag. If he picks you and you don’t need a mattress, you can always say ‘pass’ and we will pull another name.
Thank you again for being here. This is just the beginning.
When should next board meeting be?
I'm moving from KY to FL in a few weeks and looking to purchase a new mattress (I'm purging all my belongings and only taking a few things) I'm recently divorced after 16yrs so I'm starting over completely and would love to be in the running for the mattress!! This is my first substack so I'm new to this but really enjoying it!